নিমন্ত্রণ

রইল নিমন্ত্রণ,

যদি কোন একদিন স্মৃতির তাড়না ,

নিয়ে আসে তোমাকে আমার দ্বারে।

সুবর্ণ কাক ভোরে ,
রেখে গেছি আমার ঠিকানা -

অনন্ত দিগন্তের প্রভাত মাঝে

তৃণ প্রান্তরে অপরাহ্ণর সাঁঝে ,

নদী যেথা সাগরে  মেশে -

পাবে আমায় সেথা পথিক বেশে !

ফাগুন হাওয়ার দমকা বাতাসে -

আরণ্যকের শীতল শ্বাসে , 

জনহীন সৈকতে বালুকা বেলায় 

দেখব ঢেউ একলা দাড়ায় -

মধ্য রাতের  পূর্ণিমায় ,

 জ্যোৎস্না যেথায় মাখিয়ে যায়।
 হব আমি বিরাজমান মুক্ত আকাশে -

রইল নিমন্ত্রণ ,

যদি কোনদিন আসিও আমার ঘরে ,

তবে তোমাকে সঙ্গ করে ,

ছেড়ে দেব ঘাটের তরী

দিকচক্রবাল বেষ্টন করি -

যাব নিয়ে দেবতাদের স্বপ্ন-পুরী ,

রইল নিমন্ত্রণ -

God.......as I have known

Often we have thought in our subconscious minds what is the need of an almighty who seems to have created everything out of nothing when we are in an era where most of the phenomenons are described by science and its theories. In the next few paragraphs I would try to portray God through my eyes and views.

Greater parts of my adolescence has been lost thinking that God does not exist. You might be curious about how being born in a typical Indian middle class family whose very base of existence and supportive pillar is God did I have an Atheist character. Well that is because of some reasons which I would not like to disclose to the world but yes there came a time when for every shitty things in my life, for every downfall(what they say in Bengali as পান থেকে চুন খসলে meaning for every silly things) I cursed God. I felt that if God loves us and will grant our wishes then why is that every time I wish something he doesn't give it to me. I denounced the existence of God. 

Then came Dan Brown to the rescue. I will like to thank him heartily for what he did. I was reading Dan's book Angels and Demons just because I heard my crush say that it was a great book to be read and there I came across a passage between  Lieutenant Chatrand and Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca. I will give you the conversation-

"Lieutenant Chatrand: I don’t understand this omnipotent-benevolent thing.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: You are confused because the Bible describes God as an omnipotent and benevolent deity.

Lieutenant Chatrand: Exactly.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Omnipotent-benevolent simply means that God is all-powerful and well-meaning.

Lieutenant Chatrand: I understand the concept. It’s just… there seems to be a contradiction.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Yes. The contradiction is pain. Man’s starvation, war, sickness…

Lieutenant Chatrand: Exactly! Terrible things happen in this world. Human tragedy seems like proof that God could not possibly be both all-powerful and well-meaning. If He loves us and has the power to change our situation, He would prevent our pain, wouldn’t he?

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Would He?

Lieutenant Chatrand: Well… if God Loves us, and He can protect us, He would have to. It seems He is either omnipotent and uncaring, or benevolent and powerless to help.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Do you have children?

Lieutenant Chatrand: No, signore.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Imagine you had an eight-year-old son… would you love him?

Lieutenant Chatrand: Of course.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Would you let him skateboard?

Lieutenant Chatrand: Yeah, I guess. Sure I’d let him skateboard, but I’d tell him to be careful.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: So as this child’s father, you would give him some basic, good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?

Lieutenant Chatrand: I wouldn’t run behind him and mollycoddle him if that’s what you mean.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: But what if he fell and skinned his knee?

Lieutenant Chatrand: He would learn to be more careful.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: So although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child’s pain, you would choose to show you love by letting him learn his own lessons?

Lieutenant Chatrand: Of course. Pain is part of growing up. It’s how we learn.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Exactly."

And this excerpt was a game changer in my life I understood that God will show you the right and the wrong paths and it is up to you what you choose and how you cope up with situations. I learnt that the answer for every question of finding an answer to cope up with stressful situation lies within or in some past incidents. God will always put the answer within you before inflicting hardships. If you find the answers you will be contented else in pain. I understood that pain is a part of life and God doesn't inflict pain just because we are sinners or that we must be punished. He does this because he loves us and wants us to be prepared for the hardships of the devils both earthly and supernatural. Later on this year I was reading Bibhutibhuson Bandopadhyay's Debjan. This gave the feeling why most of our wishes do not get fulfilled. We people go to temples, mosques and churches to pray and tell God wishes. The atheists say if God is Omnipotent then why one has to say their prayers. Well that is what I say too. God knows what we want. We may sitting in our home tell him our needs if not now he will surely give it later as much as he can do.(Well even if he has powers he can not do everything and thus risking to break those laws he himself set up....) This does not require going in prayer houses. Moreover thousands of people are asking for something each second so if you do not ask but just have faith in God that when time comes he will give it his attention will fall to you. We people think God as our master or father and we his servant or children. But if we think him as a friend share our thoughts as we would have done with any other friend he will be pleased more. Now the theologians will say is the relationship of father and children not a close one? Then let me ask you a question- When you have a crush on somebody do you come and tell your father that father father I have a crush on this man or woman but you will tell it to your best friend no matter what happens. So you decide now which one is closer. Sharing the thoughts does not mean a list  of what and what not we want. It is how our day went thanking him for every good things happening and asking him why some bad things did happen some other day. God will be more closer to you than ever.

Now the real part comes. Yes of course God will show you the path but he will not help you unless you have a will. There is a difference between will and desire. You may desire something but when you do achieve that desire by hard work that is will. God will clear of most of the fate problems unexpectedly and if you are suffering from pain and think this is work of God. Of course this is but do not be sad or curse God but find the way to get out of it within you and your life. Sometimes God does not give the hint directly into you but series of events or persons very close to you. It is you who have to find answer through them. 
I will end with a line of HW Longfellow-
"Act,— act in the living Present!

   Heart within, and God o’erhead!"

Future plans........

Being grown up in a typical Indian middle class family I have for a greater part of my life thought of money as the source of ease and happy lifestyle and like others my dreams and ambitions have been confined to getting a well paid salary, buy a costly car, get married have children and then die one day with a enormous bank account and seeing my grand children play. Now I do have a different view. By the time I am sixteen I feel that it is time for me to think of my life ahead, my needs and the probability of getting those and how would I survive if I do not get a few of those. Right now I have a complete picture of what I want for myself and how I do plan to get it. This will not include people which would never be a part of my life no matter how much do I long for them.

                Money like any other thing is an aspect of life but not that important that it will make the person to crave for more. Mr. Suvro Chatterjee one of the people who have influenced my life to a great extent explained it to us with the following example:- Mr. X is a billionaire with a company which makes a huge profit. Let us suppose per month his profit from  the company is ten thousand  million dollars. In a year he has enough money to feed his even grandchildren lavishly until they die. Even then he will have sleepless night for the very reason that he aims in making the profit from ten million dollars a hundred million dollars even though he himself knows that he has more than sufficient to sustain his life in the most frivolous manner. As we see people who are rich are not always happy. I believe this is so because they are not farsighted even though we see that they can show through charts and diagrams the yields of their company if a certain policy is undertaken. Either they do not have the idea of visualizing a chart and graph of the results that their work in their personal life where we do not take into account the public figure whom we see in Newspapers and television but the human being in them or they do not care since they are gravely mistaken by mixing up their public and private life in such a way that they do act in the same way in both the places. So even though I dream to be rich I will not let go of my middle class outlook of using money judiciously and no matter what happens I will not let money interfere with my personal matters. Well here I would like to change something which I previously said, Money can be a source of ease only if you control it judiciously and in a canny way but if it controls you I am sure you are going to end up like those fools who run the world.

                Since my childhood nature has bestowed upon me a keen eye for beauty which is too rare these days. I can stare at the sea or the unending horizons for hours and yet my thirst will not be fulfilled. Though I do not get much opportunity but I do cruise with my cycle through the forests just for the sheer feeling of adrenaline  mixed with fear that anytime I can encounter with a wild elephant who in no time will crush my cycle and probably will do the same to me! The place where I live is infested with wild elephants and during the summers one can see herds coming out of the jungles to feed on crops in the field and grains by breaking into people’s house.
                 I would like a house up on the Canadian Rockies probably in British Columbia. It would be away from human habitat surrounded by pine forests by side of river Fraser. I am not thinking of becoming Lumberjack though!  It can also be a villa in Miami opening up into a lonely beach with no tourists. Just me and sea. A remote village in England (on the banks of Ouse ) or Germany(on the bank of Elbe) can also be taken into account since many of these places truly reveals the seductiveness of nature. One thing is common in all a river or a sea shore is a must and that is the reason why I checked out Switzerland from the list. The reader must think that why an adolescent of my age who has yet to see the world thinks of isolating himself from the world. Well I am not isolating myself. I would do a job (have ambitions to be either a doctor or teacher) and will have my own acquaintances around me but this is the place where I would like to spend rest of the day. I am not being unsocial. It is just I have realized a fact too early that the world is evil. People will change faces and bring you down unexpectedly and will hurt you emotionally. No one can be trusted and  only a handful will be there who will truly want your betterment. Even after years of knowing intimately people will show there true nature and leave a scar; I am not running away; I am just making sure that I am not disturbed by such people. Most people are there to take advantage from you and give nothing back. I can blindly say this that I can blend in both with the evil and good ones equally. Many times my friends say, “You have these bad people as your friends!” Well the real thing is I am too choosy about making friends and so to me the word friend has a much smaller boundary with a handful of people in it but it seems from someone else’s eyes that the whole world is my friend just because I do blend in with both the crowds.  So in my house you are not welcome if you are not a friend because I do not want a misanthropist destroying my utopia. If one of these real friends is reading this I know they do understand that I am referring to them that you can always pay a visit to me.

                No matter how bad my job is I am not going to be bossed by someone and that is the sole reason why I do not want to be an Engineer where either you become the boss or people boss over you and threaten you for every day for every silly mistake that he is going to fire you. If I get to become a Block Development Officer of some remote village with a forest in the foothills of Himalayas that is going to be fun too. I have unconditional love for good books and foods. So the money which people spend in buying the same clothes which they have in dozens , going to malls and other luxuries I would spend them in buying books and making good foods for myself and to feed others if some friends stops by. I will spend my life helping people. That is the life which I would want for me.
            Well I do not think I am going to marry but if someday fate favors me and I have children I would try to be a good father and husband not those in India(since I know I have no chance so I haven't thought about this aspect of my life so you might have to wait and if I get chance I will surely continue this)
 Within less than a month's time comes the board examinations and so all that  I have to do is move on forward and do not brood over the past.......