God.......as I have known

Often we have thought in our subconscious minds what is the need of an almighty who seems to have created everything out of nothing when we are in an era where most of the phenomenons are described by science and its theories. In the next few paragraphs I would try to portray God through my eyes and views.

Greater parts of my adolescence has been lost thinking that God does not exist. You might be curious about how being born in a typical Indian middle class family whose very base of existence and supportive pillar is God did I have an Atheist character. Well that is because of some reasons which I would not like to disclose to the world but yes there came a time when for every shitty things in my life, for every downfall(what they say in Bengali as পান থেকে চুন খসলে meaning for every silly things) I cursed God. I felt that if God loves us and will grant our wishes then why is that every time I wish something he doesn't give it to me. I denounced the existence of God. 

Then came Dan Brown to the rescue. I will like to thank him heartily for what he did. I was reading Dan's book Angels and Demons just because I heard my crush say that it was a great book to be read and there I came across a passage between  Lieutenant Chatrand and Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca. I will give you the conversation-

"Lieutenant Chatrand: I don’t understand this omnipotent-benevolent thing.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: You are confused because the Bible describes God as an omnipotent and benevolent deity.

Lieutenant Chatrand: Exactly.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Omnipotent-benevolent simply means that God is all-powerful and well-meaning.

Lieutenant Chatrand: I understand the concept. It’s just… there seems to be a contradiction.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Yes. The contradiction is pain. Man’s starvation, war, sickness…

Lieutenant Chatrand: Exactly! Terrible things happen in this world. Human tragedy seems like proof that God could not possibly be both all-powerful and well-meaning. If He loves us and has the power to change our situation, He would prevent our pain, wouldn’t he?

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Would He?

Lieutenant Chatrand: Well… if God Loves us, and He can protect us, He would have to. It seems He is either omnipotent and uncaring, or benevolent and powerless to help.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Do you have children?

Lieutenant Chatrand: No, signore.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Imagine you had an eight-year-old son… would you love him?

Lieutenant Chatrand: Of course.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Would you let him skateboard?

Lieutenant Chatrand: Yeah, I guess. Sure I’d let him skateboard, but I’d tell him to be careful.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: So as this child’s father, you would give him some basic, good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?

Lieutenant Chatrand: I wouldn’t run behind him and mollycoddle him if that’s what you mean.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: But what if he fell and skinned his knee?

Lieutenant Chatrand: He would learn to be more careful.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: So although you have the power to interfere and prevent your child’s pain, you would choose to show you love by letting him learn his own lessons?

Lieutenant Chatrand: Of course. Pain is part of growing up. It’s how we learn.

Camerlengo Carlo Ventresca: Exactly."

And this excerpt was a game changer in my life I understood that God will show you the right and the wrong paths and it is up to you what you choose and how you cope up with situations. I learnt that the answer for every question of finding an answer to cope up with stressful situation lies within or in some past incidents. God will always put the answer within you before inflicting hardships. If you find the answers you will be contented else in pain. I understood that pain is a part of life and God doesn't inflict pain just because we are sinners or that we must be punished. He does this because he loves us and wants us to be prepared for the hardships of the devils both earthly and supernatural. Later on this year I was reading Bibhutibhuson Bandopadhyay's Debjan. This gave the feeling why most of our wishes do not get fulfilled. We people go to temples, mosques and churches to pray and tell God wishes. The atheists say if God is Omnipotent then why one has to say their prayers. Well that is what I say too. God knows what we want. We may sitting in our home tell him our needs if not now he will surely give it later as much as he can do.(Well even if he has powers he can not do everything and thus risking to break those laws he himself set up....) This does not require going in prayer houses. Moreover thousands of people are asking for something each second so if you do not ask but just have faith in God that when time comes he will give it his attention will fall to you. We people think God as our master or father and we his servant or children. But if we think him as a friend share our thoughts as we would have done with any other friend he will be pleased more. Now the theologians will say is the relationship of father and children not a close one? Then let me ask you a question- When you have a crush on somebody do you come and tell your father that father father I have a crush on this man or woman but you will tell it to your best friend no matter what happens. So you decide now which one is closer. Sharing the thoughts does not mean a list  of what and what not we want. It is how our day went thanking him for every good things happening and asking him why some bad things did happen some other day. God will be more closer to you than ever.

Now the real part comes. Yes of course God will show you the path but he will not help you unless you have a will. There is a difference between will and desire. You may desire something but when you do achieve that desire by hard work that is will. God will clear of most of the fate problems unexpectedly and if you are suffering from pain and think this is work of God. Of course this is but do not be sad or curse God but find the way to get out of it within you and your life. Sometimes God does not give the hint directly into you but series of events or persons very close to you. It is you who have to find answer through them. 
I will end with a line of HW Longfellow-
"Act,— act in the living Present!

   Heart within, and God o’erhead!"