The Grey code

A few posts ago I spoke of a single point in the timeline that leads to infinite number of possibilities, well here I am to the future- something that I never dreamt of but  very real in it's existence. There was a time when I used to map my future but things never happen the way you want it and as Steve Jobs says, "You can't join the lines forward! You can only trace them backwards, go on working and hope that someday the lines meet." Well, as of now, this period of life is the rock bottom- the deepest, darkest abyss I could even have been in a way my Mustafar. Clearly the light have failed me. The Order have failed me. But then I never liked the Order's adherence to code and emotional neutrality. I failed to potray who I was and what was my importance in the Galaxy. I had failed myself. Initially a sense of guilt, despair and anger rose within. But now as time passed by, I don't feel anything anymore, not even the pain of it! Its just the hollow space inside that eats me up(at times). Much like any other Sith lord of his age the these moments of failures propelled my passion. For the time being I embraced the Sith for like others I don't fear the dark side. I corrupted my Kyber crystal with the Dark side bleeding it to become Blood red. I know it's true power but I could never do anything to have what I want no matter how much blphilosophyt might take. My consciousness never lost it's way into the sucking cyclone of passion, anger and hatred to perform every means possible to gain victory. I was never driven insane by the Dark side like others.The path forward is not easy and there is nobody by my side. Silly how people who stay there for your best times leave when you fall to the Dark side. But then as Lord Vader says, "You are all that you have now."The dilemma of the Dark and Light continued until one day my Kyber crystal got overloaded with the force and turned white and I realised it is wrong to binarily identify force sensitives for once in a while there comes a one who has the strength to use both te Light and the Dark side but not getting tempted to join any side and work by balancing both the sides. I am neither a Sith nor a Jedi. I give equal homage to Vader and Yoda. I belong  somewhere in between.

**P.S : Sorry people too much Star wars reference but couldn't help it. I really found their philosophy helpful. Hope things will sort out real soon.Until then Ironstark out.